Just Like Master
by Raven The Dark Angel
Summary: Seras agonizes if she is truly just like her master and Alucard wouldn't have it any other way. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't own Hellsing, and neither do you.

**Author's Note:** I suppose this is a mix of Anime and Manga. No particular time frame so if things seem a little different that is why. This was originally a multi-chap story but I never finished it and decided to change it into a one-shot. Enjoy.

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Just like Master

By Raven the Dark Angel

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Seras Victoria sat sprawled out in her coffin with one leg hanging off the edge and the other holding open the lid as she balanced her upper half on her elbows. It was early evening and she still hadn't changed out of her pajamas which consisted of a yellow halter-top and matching cotton shorts with stars printed all over it.

She sighed crumpling the loose fabric she wore. Master couldn't be all evil, could he? She had always believed ever since she was a little girl that there was some good in everyone no matter what they had done in the past or how they acted now. But if he really was all evil, did that mean all vampires were the same? Did that mean she would eventually succumb to what is really her true nature as well? Seras bit her lip. No… she _had_ snapped in personality more than once when the creatures of the night attacked her.

She could remember so clearly the ghouls pouring in from all around her… surrounding her…. Everywhere. Arms all raised to clutch and devour her flesh as they drooled in anticipation of their wonderful snack. Her heart slammed in her chest as they gripped her and clawed at her porcelain skin, sinking half-rotted teeth into the flesh. A scream would always erupt from her throat as she shoved them off her using all the vampiric strength she could muster. She would watch as their frail bodies slammed into one another half covered in their own blood. The blood staining everything… blood all over them… all over her… soaking into her clothing causing her skin to tingle in delight at the wet warm syrup.

Blood. Blood! She wanted to see more and more! Yes! Her heart began to scream in her chest as it thrashed against her ribcage in total excitement. She'd slam their bodies with her elbow's breaking their bones that tore into their skin ripping open wounds that seeped that precious substance. She'd approach the ones lying helplessly on the floor and smash her foot onto their skull, shattering the cranium with a wet soggy crunch. Oh the satisfaction she heaved into her lungs as she stared down at the hand that soaked completely red. A taste… just a taste… She pushed out her tongue feeling her very core burn with desire at the notion of feeding as she reached to lap up the blood vaguely aware of master's utterly mad grin of approval.

Seras gripped her head at the memory. Oh god what was she becoming!

"Good evening police girl," the greeting echoed against the bare walls of the room as the servant screeched in surprise and jolted backwards causing the coffin to slam shut.

"Ah!" she cried out in pain as she smacked her head against the wood in her attempt to grab the lid before it fell. With a heavy sigh muffled by the cover she lifted it back up and slid it off to the side as to be sure it wouldn't happen again.

"Master don't scare me like that," she pleaded letting her breathing return to normal as she rubbed her throbbing skull. She should have been used to master's abrupt appearances by now, however she still found herself falling over backwards, jumping in horror, screaming at the top of her lungs, or any other embarrassing things she could perform in front of him, much to the bored vampire's amusement. Seras swore he did it on purpose and wasn't the only one he targeted his games upon.

"You should have sensed my presence," he chided her taking a seat on the side of her bed and crossed his legs.

"Can't you just knock like a normal person?" she questioned watching one of his brows lift in reply. "Oh right…" she sighed letting her eyes slit into annoyed lines.

Master certainly wasn't normal on any human standards nor even vampire ones at that. Seras remembered Sir Integra's words that night when they fought against Alexander Anderson: "Cut off his head? Stabbed through his heart? Don't think of him as one of _those_ vampires. He won't die from _just that_!" At the time the pain from the slices caused by the priest's blessed swords as she struggled to help Sir Integra and the thought of master's death distracted her from questioning the proclamation. But she always wondered…

Ever since that battle she began to realize her master Alucard held an unimaginable power that seemed to have no limit. Only staying with him longer and watching as he fought, the disappointment displayed across his face at the realization that nothing was a challenge for him, only reinforced her theory that this creature was truly omnipotent. But what caused him to hold so much power? Did it have something to do with the Hellsing Organization? And if it didn't, how on earth did they ever mange to capture something with the unlimited capacity of a god? It didn't make any sense…

"What's this?" the subject of her thoughts inquired as he plucked the book from his servant's lap causing her to snap out of her muse. Oh no! She had been so caught up in her mind she had completely forgotten he was there and even more so forgotten of her diary.

"No! Master don't look!" Seras cried swiping it from his hands and buried the object under her pillow. "Eh-heh." She grined flashing her fangs. Well that was easier than she thought.

"Hooo!" he suddenly exclaimed as his eyes sparked towards her in mad enthusiasm from behind the rim of his sunglasses causing Seras to swallow nervously. "Is the police girl reading something naughty?"

"Naughty! Master!" she gasped at him unable to help the blush that highlighted her innocence. How dare he accuse her of something so ridiculous! Great, now she would have to endure his teasing that she was some kind of secret sex freak or something. This was just getting worse and worse! Her night wasn't off to a good start and she doubted at this rate things would get any better.

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat as he placed a hand on the mattress of her coffin and shifted his weight forward nearly grazing their faces together. Seras swallowed flitting her eyes from the tip of his nose a hair apart from hers to his red eyes burning with amusement. What was he thinking! Why was he so close? Her skin tightened in an almost painful tingle as her body registered the hand he balanced on so close to her hip. Oh now she could sense him alright.

The young vampire sucked in a jagged breath as her mind whirled for any excuse to get out of the situation. What could she say? It had caught master's attention, and when something caught master's attention nothing could ever diverge him away from having his fun.

"Um!" She blurted snatching his wrist halting his attempt at fishing for the book under the pillow, "Is there a mission today master?"

His eyes flickered with surprise and something else Seras couldn't quite place as he leaned back and sat in his original position on the bed. "Why? What's the matter, police girl? Are you already burning to slaughter?"

"NO!" she snapped bolting upright. "You just have your hat and glasses on and I was curious…"

A smug smirk twitched upon his lips momentarily at her outburst. However soon all interest melted off his features causing his eyes to drift from her to the rest of the room in hopes to be entertained. Seras exhaled her breath in relaxation and her secret triumph of warding him away from her diary. She had to be more careful when she wrote in it, she noted only for her stomach to flop at master's new expression. A scowl overtook his features as his brows narrowed in a mix of disappointment and frustration.

Seras followed his glare to the blood pack resting upon the desk. Her lips parted as the plastic container began to shake and swung straight across the room into master's outstretched hand. Oh no… her heart sank as she watched him rip open the top with his fangs. Christ! The smell assaulted her senses eliciting a sharp quiver up her spine. Her teeth began to ache as she slid her tongue across them in hopes to massage away the dull pain, however the action only fueled the desire in her body. Oh god! She needed to bite something! Anything! Seras sunk her fangs into her wrist as she stared at master pouring the beautiful liquid into a wine glass. Peering over the rim of his glasses he offered it to her with a chuckle of dark amusement and studied his fledging carefully.

Seras's arm shook as she reached for the blood, but suddenly retracted the limb as if her fingers were burned by the very air surrounding it. She cradled her hand to her chest as she closed her eyes desperate to think of anything else. No… she mustn't. She mustn't drink the blood at all costs!

"Drink," her ears registered master's order and found herself clutching the sides of her coffin as the smell grew stronger causing her lungs to heave rapidly. Her heart skipped a beat feeling the glass pressed up against her lips as her tongue involuntarily flicked out connecting with a drop spilt on the outside of the rim. Oh the taste! Her body felt on fire in sheer ecstasy of the copper tang smothering her senses. More! She must have more! The hand she held back trembled as if it had a mind of its own and seized the wine glass from him causing Seras to tilt it to her lips letting the blood touch her skin, yet she didn't open her mouth. She opened her eyes.

There before her sat her master heaving just as rapidly as she. His mouth split with insanity as his fangs seemed to elongate with his own feverish hunger for the blood trickling down her chin causing his eyes to haze with a veil of emotion Seras had never seen on him before. An emotion that sparked the red depths to glow at the very notion of the sin she was about to commit. His teeth parted revealing a darkness that seemed to hiss in delight at her pure innocence tasting the ways of a true nosferartu. "Yes! A true child of the night! Drink! Drink! Revel in the shadows of chaos and corruption. Become a monster!" His mind blended with her own as his sinister laughter boomed and echoed inside her skull.

Seras brows narrowed as she slammed the glass to the ground shattering its frail existence causing blood to splatter on the coffin. "NO!" she shouted and buried her head in her hands to hide herself from the sudden snarl capturing his lips. She couldn't do this… Oh god she didn't have any idea why, but she couldn't do it. If she drank she would become like him… a monster…just like he said. Or perhaps she was just denying what she already was. Alucard had sunk his fangs deep inside her human neck and drained her of all her blood…of all her days as a creature that could dwell in the sun. That life had been feasted upon by the darkness that she now called master. There was nothing left. She had become a vampire…

Seras struggled to swallow the lump lodged in her throat as she barred her teeth. Tears welled in her eyes as they broke free of the barrier of her clamped shut lids and rolled down her cheek, staining her white skin in a streak of red. Red… Red! Red damn it! She cried blood! She pulled away her gloves from her face and glared at the moisture splashed on them as if these very tears were the source of her frustration.

Oh god! She couldn't take this! Seras covered her face once again with her hands as her body trembled with the assault of her sobs barely aware of master's lingering presence. Master…she had never cried in front of him before, nor completely defied him like that. She held in a breath stilling her body preparing herself for whatever punishment he decided to bestow upon her and awaited his screams of rage. But none came.

Silence penetrated the air except for the occasional sniffle. Seras fluttered open her slammed shut lids and wiped the blood away from her face as she shyly peeked up at him. A droplet of moisture slid down her chin as she watched master's grimace further with his growl. "What a waste." He commented standing his foot before the crimson puddle. "You disgust me."

Seras whimpered at his words as she lowered her head. Not only was she failing as a human and disappointing herself from her lack of will power, she also failed and disappointed her master. Why couldn't he understand that she couldn't do this! She understood why he wanted her to drink, but she didn't need to today. She promised herself she would only feed when it was absolutely necessary. Why couldn't he see that! Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why couldn't he let her mourn her humanity?

"You act as if I made the decision for you," he spoke to her clacking his boots towards the door, "But it was_ your _choice. It was always your choice."

The words he spoke were oh so familiar yet in this repeat his voice laced with his own tired frustration. They had been over this before time and time again, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he would become violent with her. She wore at his patience terribly and wondered when he would snap and either take her vampiric life or force the liquid down her throat. But would she let it come to that? Would she accept his invitation of a life of darkness or would she follow in fear?

"_You _chose the night, Seras Victoria."

He said her name. The young girl snapped her head up towards him noting that his hard expression vanished from his features completely replaced by an unreadable mask. "Master…"

"I will not have one of _mine_ remain in such a state of pitiful weakness forever! If you cannot mange to even _feed_ yourself, I shouldn't waste my time with you. Consider yourself lucky, police girl, if I wasn't so tame by Integra I'd have destroyed you months ago."

He vanished into the darkness and spoke in her mind with an air that wasn't to be defied, "Meet me outside by the shooting range in ten minutes, police girl." Seras gulped… what did he have planned for her…?

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The cool air to of the night splashed against her skin causing her to hold her arms to her chest and rub at her skin in hopes to smooth the goosebumps away. Gunpowder teased her nose as she approached the outside shooting range tonight filled with soldiers laughing, placing bets, and practicing with their loud bangs emitting from the guns' barrels. Seras tugged at her yellow skirt trying to get the tiny material to stretch to warm the bare portion of her legs to no avail. She pulled at her white socks sighing at her choice in coloration this time. Her blue outfit had warmer thicker socks but the yellow had caught her eye… though then again whose eye wouldn't be caught by her overly bright outfit. Still, it was her favorite color but it just seemed silly for it to be the choice of a military uniform.

Silence suddenly seized the night causing Seras to sigh in annoyance and glare up at the rest of the men. What was their problem with being quiet lately! She bared her teeth momentarily as they stared at her with that same frightened look they held whenever master would walk into the room. "WHAT!" She screamed at them slamming her foot in the ground. God! Why were they going barmy around her for? So what if she was a vampire? It didn't mean SHE was like Alucard!

A sharp squeal escaped her throat as a pair of hands settled on her shoulders. Seras found herself jumping and turning at the same time as her eyes caught sight of a blur of red while she tangled her legs and landed flat on her back. Damn him. She shot to a stand grimacing at the pain in her butt. Right so that's what caused the men their first reaction and their laughter now.

"This doesn't concern you, humans!" Alucard growled at them eliciting another library quiet and the quick recovery of gunfire echoing in the yard.

Seras gulped at the sight of master just as equally afraid. He had been so angry with her before she wondered what exactly he wanted to do with her outside in front of Hellsing's army. The men… she felt fairly secure just having them close by even though she knew Pip nor anyone else could rescue her from him if something should happen, but then they could be Sir Hellsing's eyes. If he tried anything too brutal Integra would stop him.

The young vampire let out a small whimper as she followed her master away from the shooting range to the other side of the massive yard. She lowered her head and crouched her back hoping to just get this over with and nearly slammed into his chest unrealizing he had stopped.

"Now, police girl first we will start off with a quick explanation."

"Um…but what are we doing, master?" She questioned rubbing the back of her head nervously.

His constant grinning mask almost seemed to curve even more upward as his eyes laid on her. "Why do you think vampires are unable to be seen in normal mirrors?"

"Is this a riddle?" she piped holding her chin in thought. She still could see herself in normal mirrors…well she looked a little faded, almost translucent like a ghost or something of the sort. It was a good thing Hellsing had developed other mirrors to better view herself with, because if she had to spend all of eternity wondering if that annoying piece of hair that always sticks up was sticking up she'd-

"Pay attention!"

Seras's heart skipped a beat causing her body to jolt. "Yes sir! Right! Um…I don't know!" She blurted a little too enthusiastically. God she was making a complete ass of herself. She just wanted to cover her face and sink into the ground and ooze her way back into the house if only she could…

"It's because normal mirrors only reflect light." He continued to explain as a flicker of the moons rays sparked against his sunglasses causing them to almost glow eerily. "Vampires are a composition of pure darkness and shadows. And THAT police-girl is the key to all vampiric powers." He bent forward letting his shades slip to the bottom of his nose allowing the eye contact

"Oh…" She replied wanting to step backward away from the close proximity yet he straightened his back and pointed to the thick forest a few feet away.

"Police girl, I want you to walk through that."

Seras blinked. "Um… but sir…that's a tree."

"A problem for a human but not for a vampire. Now walk through it!"

The young girl gapped at him for a moment and slowly approached the plant he spoke of. Okay walk through it… She placed her glove on the wood and pushed against it the object unbudging from the force she inflicted. She knocked on the surface and poked at it with her finger. She sighed. It was a tree for cripes sake! Ugh! How was she supposed to go through that? This was hopeless. She thought he was going to give her some kind of explanation! Seras placed her hands on her hips staring at it wondering about the talk of shadows before. What did mirrors have to do with trees?

Seras slowly turned toward her master as he studied her from behind those yellow sunglasses of his blocking her view of those maddened eyes. She didn't want to see them anyway. They always gave her the creeps. Tilting her head at him he seemed to be transfixed to that very spot in the ground like some kind of gargoyle statue and a statue that wasn't about ready to speak and give her a clue as to what to do.

Hmph. She didn't need his help anyways. She'd show him! She'd go right though this tree right now! If he could do it with such ease so could she! Seras backed up, rolled up her sleeves, and briskly moved forward determined to appear on the other side. Her view of the wood came closer, closer, oh god was she going to go through? Of course she was! Ha! She was a vampire! Closer. Closer. Smack! "AHH!"

Seras cried out and landed on her behind once again as she clutched her nose and forehead. Oh Christ that had HURT! She gritted her teeth now registering master's booming laughter dripping with cruel delight at her failure. That bastard! How dare he! He's the one that told her to go through the bloody tree!

"You're MEAN, master!" Seras declared still seated on the grass.

"And you are most amusing," he responded, "Didn't you hear a word I said?"

"Of course I did!" she snapped and dusted herself off. It didn't make one damn bit of bloody sense on what one has to do with the other but she sure as hell did listen!

"Do it again."

"What?" she gasped, "Master! Why? So you can just laugh at me again?"

"Do it again," he repeated with hint of agitation that Seras knew wasn't to be challenged and she glared up at the tree.

Arg! This was stupid! She hated him! She truly hated him. Why couldn't he show her and tell her like a normal teacher but no. He just had to do it this way. Oh she was already sick of being a vampire this was no fun at all! She forced the breath out of her lungs and glanced around the area for anything at all that might give her the tiniest clue. Grass poked up from out the ground lined with an occasional droplet of moisture, a few rocks here and there, along with roots peeking up from the dirt but nothing really that she could see for certain that would help her. It was however especially dark in this corner of the yard compared to the bright field lights that granted visibility to those in the shooting range, but darkness didn't really prove any sort of problem to her eyes that could focus even better through it's black blanket.

Seras closed her eyes for a moment trying to picture the way master would literally melt into the walls…Hmm... She gripped her chin trying to figure this out since there was no way she was going to smash her head in again! He would just touch the walls with his fingertips and glide right through as if he were some kind of ghost. But what exactly did he do to that wall that would make it passable? She could remember the bricks pooling and rippling like a puddle at the lightest caress of his glove and he would sink into what seemed to be a tiny portal. A frown ceased her lips. This wasn't helping at all! It was only confusing her further!

Was she even close? Seras outstretched her hand and felt the tree's bark again. Perhaps it wasn't the actual objects he was touching perhaps… She hovered her hand before the wood and felt a sudden coldness slice up her hand and trickle down her spine. Seras gasped and retracted the limb. What was that?

The young vampire glanced at her master and noted his glowing orbs peered over the rims of his sunglasses as he held it in place on the edge of his nose. His expression had seemed to shift entirely even though he still held that insane grin of his but she sensed the cruel amusement had faded into simple interest. Seras smiled. So she was close!

She returned her hand suspended just before the tree feeling that same freezing sensation climb up her arm and spread throughout the rest of her body. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as her heart skipped a beat in realization on what exactly was happening. She was becoming one with the shadows! That's what master had meant! Sears gritted her teeth as she pushed forward and gasped at the disappearance of her hand into the tree's bark. The wood rippled around her wrist as if she dipped it into a bucket of ice water. She could no longer feel her hand numbed beyond comprehension yet she pressed on.

Another step and into the tree itself she submerged her entire body as the blanket of darkness consumed her. Her heart began to pound in her chest as she gasped yet was completely unable to breathe. Air! She needed air, the human side of her logic screamed but somewhere in the reassesses of her brain she knew it wasn't necessary. Oh god it was so cold… so very cold. She needed to get out of here! But where was here? Surely she wasn't_ in_ the tree. But then if not there, where?

She could no longer feel herself… her body… it was as if all of her was completely lost and the only thing that remained was her thoughts, her soul. Tired… she just wanted to sleep now… drift off into nothingness… let it all go… as if the black death that surrounded her was coaxing her to simply rest…sleep…

Master! Her eyes snapped open feeling his presence connect with hers. For a moment she wasn't entirely sure which was colder him or this land of shadows however her muse was quickly broken by the sudden painful clutch encasing her heart. Seras cried out as that same forced yanked her forward onto the grass at her knees back to reality.

The young vampire blinked for a moment drawing in the air she thought she required and glanced up at master. What seemed like pride flashed across his eyes as he slipped his sunglasses back onto his face and showed off his teeth in a smirk.

"You failed to make it to the other side by yourself, police girl." Alucard observed causing Seras to slump and frown preparing herself for scolding. "However, I have never seen a single one of my fledglings figure out how to do so on their first session nor resist as long as you have. I expected you to be consumed by the shadows with your pathetic weak _human_ mind, yet you surprise me. It seems you may be useful after all."

Seras blinked. Was that a compliment or an insult just now? "…um…thank you?"

Her eyes fixated on his as he stared down at her almost as if chuckling at some private joke. What now? What was making his fangs sparkle in such sharp amusement?

Uhg! Why bother to figure him out she sighed to herself and reached up the tuck a strand of hair behind her ear…a very long strand of hair. Wait a minute… Seras glanced down and nearly screamed at the sight of long tresses falling down her shoulders pooling around her on the grass she sat on. "Wh-what the bloody hell!"

A blood pack tossed into her lap as she snapped her eyes toward master once again. "Drink it," he answered her questioning glare.

"But-"

"_Listen_ to me, police girl!" her growled crouching on the floor in front of her. His eyes glowed past his glasses as he gripped the sides of her face and spoke his reasoning, "IF you had fed everyday this wouldn't have happened, but you are _weak_ and so your body can't keep up with the will of the shadows. Now drink!"

Seras jolted at his last sentence knowing that this time he wasn't playing games. She HAD to drink or else face the deadly consequences of punishment from a creature that could rival with the devil himself. And so with a heavy sigh she snapped the top off and placed the opening to her mouth and sucked on the medical pack as if it were straw placed into a box of juice. Yes juice… maybe if she thought of it that way it wouldn't be so bad after all. It would be just like when she was a little girl at school, except little girls didn't drink blood.

However her human side didn't have time to feel disgust as soon as the liquid reached her tongue and chilled down her throat an explosion of emotion shot through her. Oh god! Her eyes grew wide as her teeth seemed to grow at the raw need. Yes! Her breathing increased as she sucked on the straw-like tip harder until every last glorious droplet was consumed. She found herself licking her lips and tearing open the bag allowing her tongue to graze across the insides of the plastic for the tiniest bit of remains. Oh god she wanted more! Her lungs hissed in disproval as she tossed the empty pack aside and glanced up at master for more.

His lips curled revealing his fangs. "Good girl."

Seras slumped at the words realizing just exactly what she had partaken in. She had pleased master but she disbanded her vow to never drink unless it was absolutely necessary. Her eyes glued to the grass feeling her heart clench in utter guilt and betrayal. It didn't matter what she told herself anymore she realized in that moment listening to the amusement of the vampire above her. It didn't matter anymore because in the ended she needed it. She needed the blood to survive no matter if she drank it once a month or everyday, in the end she drank. She drank because she was nothing but a monster with a one way ticket to becoming just like her master Alucard.

"The fun shall be most promising in tomorrow's lesson." He chuckled and suddenly burst into full fledge laughter as he disappeared into the night's air.

Of course it will, she mused bitterly and brushed back her now shoulder length hair. She wondered if it would remain at the length or if it would grow and shorten just like master's… Just like master… She closed her eyes.


End file.
